Dear you

The letter I'll probably never send..




Dear you,

this is the hardest letter I've ever written so far.
I'm not really sure how to say what I want you to know..
So here I go..

This thing we shared, was magical.. I remember being suprised that you were in love with me. I never thought someone like you would fall for a girl like me. But you did.
The first year we shared was great. We were so in love, we enjoyed every moment. I sometimes had my doubts, but you'd always find a way to make me feel better. But it turned out those moments always came back. There was always something making me feel sad. It got so bad that neither one of us knew what to do. Until that one evening. You were the one strong enough to make the decision. My heart broke.
I thought I knew what the real reason of our break-up was. Turns out it almost took me a year to find out....the real reason was me. I wasn't whole on my own. All I did was push you away. It hurts me so bad to know that now. It hurted me even more when I realised nothing has changed. Knowing that, it really breaks my heart seeing you. It's like reading your own diary, telling you, you're not happy.
I just need time for myself. Time to figure out what I want. Time to make me whole. But... I can't do that with you being so frequent in my life. I mean, we tried being friends. Maybe we will, someday. But for now I need the distance.

I love you.




Until I'm ready,

goodbye love.