Seven months ago my heart got broken, again..
A lot has happend in that time.
I had some experiences, tried some thing out, had fun with friends, went back to school, gave up, moved back home, got myself in a big mess, got some jobs,... in the meanwhile just trying to figure out how I feel.
Everything and everybody around me is changing. It feels like I'm standing still.
Two years ago I made a pact with myself that I had ten years to accomplish the things I want before I'm thirty. Silly I know.. But now, almost 3 years later I find that I've only accomplished one thing. And I know I'm not the only one feeling this way, I just feel alone these days. Everybody is making something of himself and I'm stuck figuring out what I want.. And the truth is, the only thing I want is something I don't believe in anymore.. I make myself believe I do, I obsess even, I listen to my friends and their stories and pretend it's all so great! Great for them it is. I'm happy for them. But for me, I'm wondering if I'll ever be on that road again.. These past seven months have been the worst. I learned that sometimes the knife cuts deeper than it seems. I got cut and I'm still healing.
And it turns out not believing turns into obsessing about something you're not even sure about in the first place.
I'll try to find my way,
in the meanwhile I'm in love with F5.
Time to refresh again!
december 29, 2008
december 17, 2008
november 25, 2008
Hurt
Hurt is different in every language,
in every culture,
in every age,
for every individual.
But the question we all ask us is:
"when does is stop hurting and become bearable?"
If it hurts since you can't remember and it keeps coming back, will it ever go away?
How much longer will I be able to take this?
There is nothing I can do, just sit and watch from a distance.
Because getting to close will get me into deep.
Do you know the feeling when you have a wound and it's healing and then you scratch it open again? The wound needs more time to heal and it sometimes leaves a scar.
At the moment it feels like if all the scars I collected over the years are cut open.
Cut open and bleeding, and I can't stop it..
in every culture,
in every age,
for every individual.
But the question we all ask us is:
"when does is stop hurting and become bearable?"
If it hurts since you can't remember and it keeps coming back, will it ever go away?
How much longer will I be able to take this?
There is nothing I can do, just sit and watch from a distance.
Because getting to close will get me into deep.
Do you know the feeling when you have a wound and it's healing and then you scratch it open again? The wound needs more time to heal and it sometimes leaves a scar.
At the moment it feels like if all the scars I collected over the years are cut open.
Cut open and bleeding, and I can't stop it..
november 10, 2008
november 09, 2008
Abonneren op:
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